In the Midst of Grief
by Katie Harding on November 1, 2021
As some of you are aware, one of my brothers passed in August when he took his life. I learned afterward that several friends have experienced the same trauma. It helped to know others understood my pain. So, I mention it here because one day it may help someone else to know a friend who has walked this road. We’ve had other family losses, yet this grieving season is unlike those in so many ways.
“Jesus doesn’t just draw close, but He is already there waiting for us to look in His direction. ”
A few days after my brother’s death, we went to be with his family. The three mornings we were there, I got up early to sit with the Lord and be comforted by His Word. Recently, as I read Jesus’ words to Mary outside His tomb, “Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you seeking?”, I recalled the three passages of comfort the Lord gave me in those early hours and the importance of each.
The first morning’s passage was about Job. Job’s children were all together in the elder son’s house when “a great wind came across the desert, struck the four corners of the house, and it fell in on the young people…” Something like a tornado hit the home, and Job and his wife sustained their greatest loss. As I have learned from others, losing a child is one of the most painful losses we can experience, and Job was no exception. It cut him to the core. He “tore his robe, shaved his head, and fell on the ground…” Job’s grief was real and his pain unbearable. But what he did next took me by complete surprise. It says Job “fell on the ground and worshiped.” Not worshiped as in singing praise songs or hymns, but worshiped as in declaring God was still sovereign. Job had just experienced significant loss, and in the midst of his grief, Job fell from his feet and worshiped.
The second morning’s passage was the story of Naomi in the beginning of Ruth. Although the Lord had directed his people to stay away from Moab, that’s exactly where Naomi and her husband, Elimelech, and their two sons headed when Bethlehem experienced a famine. Before long, Naomi lost her husband and within ten years both of her sons as well. It was loss of great magnitude, and Naomi did what so many people do when experiencing significant pain, not necessarily loss, in their lives. She blamed the Lord. He had turned against her she surmised, and she was bitter. Yet even in her anger, Naomi didn’t turn from the Lord. He was still sovereign, so in the midst of her grief, Naomi rose to her feet and followed. She packed her bags and headed in the direction of where she saw God’s hand at work — going back to whence she came as “she heard in the country of Moab that the Lord had considered his people [in Bethlehem] and given them food.”
The third morning’s passage brought not only comfort, but tears as I cried over the same words Mary spoke to Jesus in John 11, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother wouldn’t have died.” I understood Mary’s sentiment all too well. Mary and her siblings had experienced Jesus’ healing power in others’ lives. She had no doubt that He could have cured Lazarus — if He had been present. She, like her sister, didn’t understand why he didn’t come earlier, yet, she harbored no anger. She went quickly when called, and in the midst of her grief, Mary knelt at the feet of Jesus. In kneeling at His feet, she still recognized and respected his authority but felt free to voice the feelings of her heart. What’s so amazing was Jesus’ response. He wasn’t offended by her statement. He wept, but not for Lazarus. He knew Lazarus would soon be among them again. He wept with Mary and for Mary. It grieved His heart to see His friend in pain.
This is the same tenderness we see in Jesus (in John 20) when He said, “Mary,” to a distraught Mary Magdalene, who thought someone had taken the body of her Lord, and it’s what we discover in the midst of our grief or pain as well. Jesus doesn’t just draw close, but He is already there waiting for us to look in His direction. That’s what was so significant for me about Job, Naomi, and Mary. Even though there was great pain, anger, and many tears, they all looked in the direction of the Lord, instead of looking away. And what they found is what I have found. We have a loving, compassionate, and merciful God who is always there…Waiting.
The photo above was taken in Israel and is thought to be the garden where Mary encountered Jesus.